I talked to you again the day before yesterday after two months of silence. You said that you had been calling the clinic to check on me...but I really don't keep in touch with anyone up there anymore so you got no news.
I don't know that I belive that you had been trying to call me. I'm not sure.
You said that you and your wife and "normal", with a little laugh. I don't know quite what that means. I said, "Normal as in like how you guys were before you ever met me?" To which you replied, "Man, I don't even remember what that was like."
I'm sorry that I fucked with your head and fucked up your life.
I called you just to see how you were because I was telling Nikki about you this weekend and I missed you so bad. I called and I was curious to see if my feelings remained the same. Afterall, I've gone weeks without thinking about you. I thought maybe we were just friends now.
But I called you and I missed you so bad. I just wanted to see you. And that's a bad idea. But we both know where that will lead. Us tumbling passionately into my bed followed by a guilty yet elated you running back home to your wife. I can't go there again, my love.
I told you yesterday not to call me again this week. I can't handle it. I can't handle your guilt or your desire. You need to stick with your decision and be with your wife.
I will not walk that path with you again.
